Eu até tinha uma história triste, de fazer chorar as pedras da calçada... Mas envolve a minha mãe e um polícia fardado, portanto é melhor não.
Não se preocupem, a minha mãe está bem. E o polícia ligou mais tarde, a perguntar se ela tinha passado bem a tarde... (já não se fazem polícias assim).
Em vez desse filme, deixo-vos outro, do qual já tinha ouvido falar na 3ª pessoa. Agora tocou-me a mim. Só ainda não percebi porque é que a minha caixa de e-mail considerou isto "lixo"! Lixo? Esta pérola... não entendo.
Deixo os meus comentários a azul. Eu lá podia ficar quieta com uma cena destas!
De: rahim ahmed
Enviado: quinta-feira, 5 de Julho de 2007 10:06:05
Assunto: From Mr Rahim Ahmed, Pls I Need Your Reply Soon.
From The Desk Of Mr Rahim Ahmed
The Manager of Audit & Account Department,
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK (A.D.B.) - soa bem...
Ouagadougou, Burkina-Faso - ao menos não falharam na capital do país, menos mal!
Dear Friend, Please read carefully, This is secret and confidential Pois! Desculpa lá a quebra de confidencialidade…
I hope that you are well today. Mim? Do best!
I am the Manager of Audit and account dept of our bank, with due respect I decided to contact you over this business financial transaction worth the sum of FIFTEEN MILLION, TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS ( 15.2Million usd ) - Upa, upa, puxadote!!! - in other to entrust this fund into your bank account. Sério? Na MINHA conta bancária?!
This is an abandoned fund that belongs to the one of our bank customers who died along with his entire family on 25th July,2001 in a plane crash disaster. Tadinho…
I was very fortune to meet the deceased file when I was arranging the old and abandoned customers files of 2000-2001 in other to submit to the bank managements accordingly for documentation purposes. Following our banking financial policy, it was obviously indicated and signed law fully that if such money remains unclaimed after five years without somebody been a foreigner apply and claim the fund as the next of kin , the money will be transferred into the Bank Treasury as an unclaimed fund. E porque é que tem de ser um estrangeiro? Os locais não são de confiança, é?
So the request of you as a foreigner is necessarily needed for the claim because a citizen of Burkina Faso cannot come forward to claim the fund since the law does not permit an indigene to claim such fund. Novamente... porque será?
Since the real beneficiary of the fund is died, the bank are expecting the next of kin to apply for the release of the fund for him or her without delay but unfortunately I learnt through the investigations which I carried out that there is nobody behind who can come and claim the fund. Que pena!
Therefore I want you - me? - to apply to the bank with your reliable bank account details where our bank will transfer the fund into and immediately the fund is transferred into your account, I will share the fund according to the percentage indicated below.
SIXTY PERCENT (60%) of the total fund will be for me. Hum... 60% para ti? Porquê?! THIRTY PERCENT( 30%) for you in provision of the Bank account. FIVE PERCENT(5%) will be for unexpected expenses which may occur during the transfer. FIVE PERCENT(5%) will be preserved for helping the helpless people, like charity organization and motherless babies.
Ah bom! Dos 15 milhões e qualquer coisa, damos 5% para caridade. Parece-me bem. Mas olha que os 60% cheiram-me a esturro! O resto até papo, que eu sou loira, mas os 60%, não sei porquê, parece-me um tanto ou quanto garganeiro da tua parte.
Thereafter you will help me to visit your country for sharing the money according to the percentage indicated above. Ai rapaz, tu vais AMAR isto aqui! Temos o Sócrates, o Mendes, o Apito Dourado e a Casa Pia, mais o IVA a 21%... Anda, anda. Mas vem a nado, ok?
And for the immediate transfer of this fund into your bank account as arranged, you must apply first to the bank as the only existing next of kin to the deceased customer and after approval which will take place immediately as you applied, the transfer of the fund into your nominated bank account will proceed. Simples, né?
Please note that you should keep this business secret until you confirm the transfer into the bank account which you will provide. Ups… sorry, eu sou uma desbocada mesmo!
And there is NO RISK in this business - of course not, don't be ridicullous!!! - if you can follow my instructions because am still working with the bank. Isso agora é que não me parece nada bem! Tu a trabalhares no banco e fazeres cenas destas, inspiras cá uma confiança... Ui, ui.
The bank will forward to you all necessary documents related to the transfer and which will prove that you make a legal claim of inheritance. It is true that I pray to GOD before I was pushed forward to contact you for this business but I want you to assure me solemnly that you are a trustworthy, reliable, honest and capable to avoid cheating me in this business. Xiiiii… religioso!!! Agora estou muito menos desconfiada! E quanto ao “cheating” acho que estamos safos: para essa parte estás cá tu.
If you are really sure of your integrity, - da minha, estou… já da tua…hesito um bocadinho - reply immediately you receive this mail and call me on +226 7637 9105 for more detailed information on how the process to transfer the fund into your account will be. Jovem, é que é mesmo já a seguir. Aguenta-te aí que eu já vou!
Yours faithfully,
Mr Rahim Ahmed
Rahim pá... estás aqui, man! Na minha caixinha de lixo electrónico... Mas com carinho, ouviste?
E já agora, um conselho: se conseguires sacar os 60%, aproveita e tira um curso intensivo de Inglês! É que com esse sotaque não vais longe.